To An Amazon

[At a recent glove-fight between FITZSIMMONS and JACK O’BRIEN,

at Philadelphia, the greater and more enthusiastic part of the

audience was composed of women.]



BEDELIA, 'neath your tiny boot

   My throbbing heart I throw:

Oh, deign to smile upon my suit –

   Presumptuous, I know.

My income is not large, it's true,

   Of wealth I'm quite bereft:

But still – this must appeal to you –

   I've such a pretty left.

I never read romantic books,

   No verse can I recite;

I only know the jabs and hooks

   That go to win a fight:

I cannot sing nor dance with grace,

   But oh! I know the punch

That takes the victim on the place

   Where he has stowed his lunch.

I've loved you ever since the night

   (Which I remember still!)

When I put up that eight-round fight

   With Colorado BILL.

How well I recollect, my own,

   The soothing words you said,

"Leave the gazebo's wind alone,

   And swat him on the head!"

I'm but a worm compared to you,

   But still, I beg to state,

I've licked the world at ten stone two,

   Which is my fighting weight.

And if you will but marry me,

   BEDELIA, then perhaps

My second I will let you be

   In all my future "scraps".

First published in Punch, August 17, 1904.


Jack O’Brien (middle right) shaking hands with Tony Biddle (middle left)